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Monday, October 8, 2012

Pie-leoJay- Pies are now Paleo!

Yes, friends- it turns out that I've been wrong- wrong about PIES! 

It seems as if, in paleo circles, pies have been the "bad guys"- high in sugar, flour, gluten, starch, and every other paleo/primal boogie man you can think of!  But, the recent studies at the prestigious Pie Council institute prove that pie, all kinds of pies,  are the new SUPERFOOD!  Yes, it appears that, even though pies such as apple, pecan, cream pie fruity peanut butter, and even coconut cream mint fluff pie have been demonized for years, they make up for their horrid content by making us really happy!  

Yes, the endorphins created in the body by really tasty, high carbohydrate, loaded-with-sugar pies are so powerful- that they literally make us thin, strong and healthy!


Rob Wolffe says- "Holy Cats!!  Pies are cool with me! I like their gig!"
Mark Sison- "Pies help with my definition!"
Jimmy Moor- "A pie a day keeps the fat at bay!"
PaleoJay- "A little pie is good- more is better!"
Abel Janes- "The dairy through the whipped cream is just the frosting on the top of the goodness of pies!"
Shawne Kroksten- "YO- WHAT'S UP WITH PIES YA'ALL- WAY UP I SAY!"



In light of this information, I ran a little experiment with my wife at a local restaurant:



Wow!  A great time was had by all!!  So, take it from me, PaleoJay, and all your other Paleo friends listed above:

PIE IS PALEO!


Well, I hope you've figured it out, but this is April Fool's in October!  

Pie is not even faintly paleo, is a horrible dietary choice, and should be avoided! Really!!

I'm just having a bit of fun, since we stopped at a place that had this whirling pie display case...


Here is what I really had; honest!  And it was great, and totally filling!!


I'm just having a bit of fun here!  The message is the same, from both me, and the (above-mentioned-somewhat-mis-spelled paleo luminaries):  

Grains are poison!
Sugar is too!!
So are "seed oils", margarine, crisco, cool whip, etc.
As Shawne Kroxten, listed above would say:
"Yo- Ya'all- Just Eat Real Food!  (J.E.R.F.)


I should sign off in my brother's name, JERF Bowers... but, as you know, this is just

J