pqtd #115 Paleo Time Machine!

Recently, I built a time machine!  It was amazing, that first time I fired it up- the rainbows of lights that surrounded me in my little contraption as I spun away through time, into the past.  The walls of my machine were vibrating rapidly, and a strange music of deep, resonant chords seemed to go right through me- and then, with a thud, I landed.

I had gone into the past, as planned.  I looked out upon a scene at once strange and familiar: in front of me was a typical street in an American town, but it was subtly different from what it had been in my time.  I could see a glass telephone booth around the corner, for I had fortuitously landed in an alley between two large brick buildings. 

Leaving my machine, I covered it with large sheets of plywood that were strewn through the alley, disguising it.  Then I walked up to the telephone booth in the street ahead. 

Old, antique-looking street lamps flickered on overhead, as it was early evening.  A man was talking on the telephone in the booth, wearing a wide-lapeled suit, a felt hat, and smoking a cigarette.  “I’ll tell ya’, Harry,” he said, “the doc says my ticker ain’t so hot!”  He had a loud, aggressive voice.

To the side of the booth was walking an attractive middle-aged woman, with a long dress, a big slouch hat, and a cigarette in a long holder.  She was walking a small dog. 

I felt woefully underdressed, for in 1945 no one would dress like someone from 2016 unless he was a beggar.  A t-shirt and blue jeans, along with sneakers was completely inappropriate for a grown man!  ‘I should have anticipated this’, I thought.  I decided to kind of lurk in the shadows, so as to not draw attention.

More people came by, most walking, some in the big flashy sedans of that era.  And almost all of those folks were smoking cigarettes!  I wanted to walk up to them, and warn them about the dangers of smoking, but I knew what would happen- they would be angered, and think I was insane, especially since I had no qualifications and was dressed so poorly.  Anyone who did notice me looked at me either with faint contempt, or else pity at my forlorn appearance, dressed as a bum.

On the wall to my right, just up the street, was a large advertisement in the form of a sign:

More Doctors Recommend MARLBORO Cigarettes than Any Other!!

There was a picture of a smiling Medical Doctor, wearing one of those big shiny metal head mirrors and a stethoscope.  In his mouth was a cigarette, smoke lazily drifting up as he looked down the throat of a patient!

I knew it was hopeless; no one would listen to me warn of health dangers well known in the future.  They all just believed the common paradigm of the time, which was that cigarettes were fine and dandy, and nothing would shake that conviction!

I went back down the alley, and went back to 2016.

In 2016, I continued with my blog and podcast, warning people about the extreme dangers of glyphosate, or Roundup in destroying the health of their micro biome!  I continually talked about gluten and gliadin, two of the most pernicious allergens in modern wheat, and how they could destroy your health by making the very walls of your intestine leaky, subjecting you to all sorts of anti immune diseases.  I talked about the dangers of high fructose corn syrup, and the horrors of the rancid margarines and other industrial seed oils that most were eating. 

Then, walking out on the street, I saw a man walking along, eating a Big Mac.  He had a giant soft drink in his hand, as big as his head, and his belly bulged beneath his shirt.  A woman on the other side of the street had stopped at a soft pretzel stand, and had bought an extra large pretzel, topped with sugar sprinkles.  She ate it with big bites, as if starving; one look at her and you could certainly see that she wasn’t!

On the wall was a sign:

BARIATRIC SURGERY!

THE ANSWER TO YOUR PROBLEMS!

Beneath was the photo of a very slim woman, smiling widely.  “My weight melted away, as did my diabetes!”  The name of a prominent medical clinic followed, along with a telephone number.

I realized that although I knew what advice I should give in this era as well, almost no one wanted to listen!  If the woman on the sign would have just stopped eating wheat, most sugars and started eating a good paleo diet, coupled with ample sleep and perfectly paleo types of exercise, out in nature, she would have achieved the same results without going through a dangerous and expensive surgery!  She would have improved her gut microbes as well, and thus improved her mood and her total health at the same time. 

I got back into my time machine, and went into the future.  When I stopped the machine, people walked by me on the green paths that served as sidewalks in this time.  They were all slim, healthy people, brimming with vitality and energy.  Most were barefoot, and looked at my sneakers with surprise and disgust.  None were eating as they walked.

Swift hovercraft skimmed by, noiselessly, the passenger standing atop them casually, looking about as they drove themselves.  There was a sign, lit up in the air in letters of light:

GUT REJUVENATION!

Eat Real Foods, and Regain Your Health

Perfectly Paleo Exercise for a Perfect YOU!

YOU are Your OWN Doctor- U.S. Department of Health

Beneath these words was a picture of the bust of Hippocrates, the founder of Western medicine.  And inside of a speech bubble coming from his lips, was this dialogue: “All things related to true, natural health such as probiotics, supplements, exercise equipment, and good natural foods are totally TAX DEDUCTIBLE!” 

I went home, feeling really good about the future.  And did you know, you can have that future NOW? 

Check out this episode!