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Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Paleo Quick Tip of the Day #44 Don't eat like a Sumo wrestler, or a goose!


"I'm sick of starches!"
pqtd 44 Don’t eat like a sumo wrestler, or a goose!

Really- don’t!

Sumo wrestlers, those extra large Japanese men who try, as the demands of their sport dictate to gain as much weight as possible, do so by not eating breakfast (that is forbidden!), and then eating as much as possible for lunch and then taking a 4 hour nap.

What do they eat?  Well, since they desire to gain as much weight as possible, fat and muscle, they wake early and train for 5 hours or so- really!
(this is their whole life)...

Eating Fat does NOT make you fat- carbs do!
Then, they eat a huge stew of meat, fish, vegetables, and LOTS of RICE, and wash it all down with lots and lots of beer!  (Not light beer, either...)

Then, they take their 4 hour nap.  When they awake, they might move around a little, but they mainly get ready for dinner!

Dinner is the same as lunch, but probably more rice, and more beer- at LEAST 10,000 calories worth!  And then, it’s lights out, for a long sleep before the next days training, and eating...

This regimen is calculated to produce maximum weight gain- both fat and muscle- and it works like a champion!!  Many Sumo wrestlers are over 500 pounds, and some are over 600!!

And then there are geese...

Geese have been force fed for many, many years to increase the size of their livers- actually, the practice started in Egyptian times!  Geese are able to store weight in their whole bodies, and especially in their livers to enable them to migrate long distances; and force feeding them particularly with starches like corn and wheat enables maximum fat gain!

Since animals, like geese would be unwilling to force feed themselves massive amounts of grains, we humans have devised ways to force them to adopt sumo like methods of overfeeding, using tubes forced into their unwilling mouths...

But why am I talking at length about Sumo wrestlers and force fed geese?
It’s because if you are a typical, Standard American, following a SAD standard American diet-

YOU ARE EATING LIKE A SUMO WRESTLER GOOSE!


The modern typical American, western diet is so loaded with starches, and the ultimate horrible starch grains and carbohydrates, that you are literally force feeding yourself!

And if you wake up, skip breakfast or just eat a fast food carb horror, and then go to a job or school where you just sit almost motionless as if you were napping, and then eat a standard American sandwich/Subway meal or other fast food, or even a sandwich from home that is the same deal, washed down by a soft drink, and then again sit almost motionless until quitting time...

Congratulations!  You are well on your way to being a big, giant, fat, Sumo kind of person...but without the underlying muscle!

BUT, on the upside, if there is a Twilight Zone kind of scenario in the future where aliens land and are looking for food- well, your liver might be...

JUST WHAT THEY ARE LOOKING FOR!

What?  You don’t want to be an enlarged liver sumo person??

Well, then just wake up early, work out like a sumo but for maybe a half hour or so, and then eat a big, protein centered breakfast, like eggs, bacon, and coffee with coconut oil in it, topped with whipped cream!

Make a big Paleo Smoothie with lots of veggies, and lots of good fats, as outlined in my paleo smoothie recipe at www.paleojay.com, and whip it up in your Vitamix- eat a lot of this smoothie, and the breakfast after your workout, and do not add in any carbs at all- no rice, no cereal, no toast-

JUST A REALLY LOT OF GOOD, GOD MADE FATS AND PROTEIN!!

This means butter, cream, avocado, bacon, sausage, eggs- you get the idea!

You will not be hungry for a long time!  Trust me.

When you are, have another paleo smoothie, or else a big, giant salad with lots of olive oil, beef or chicken or tuna or other protein source, and maybe a tin of sardines packed in olive oil as well...another big helping of your best friends: fat and protein!

It really is that simple, my non Sumo Goose friend!

Eat more fat. Eat protein.  Just eat real food, as made by God, not man!!

Work out like a Sumo, but for much less time.  Eat like a goose in the wild, without a tube down his throat ala a Happy Meal!

And remember that starches, and grains like wheat, and especially sugar/corn syrup/aspartame and all other fake, man made food like substances will turn you into a force fed giant livered Sumo Goose!

And, I’m not even exaggerating.

Check out this episode!